Everyone has their own way of living, but are we really living an authentic life? Looking back on the first 40 years of my life journey, I see that the most pivotal momentsâthe ones that truly shaped my identityâcame from high-stakes decisions that forced me out of my comfort zone. These experiences have clarified the profound difference between simply existing and truly living.
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." â Oscar Wilde
Growing up, my life followed a script written by my parents, both dedicated teachers who valued stability and tradition. From childhood through college, I was the center of their hopes, the embodiment of their ideals, and the student they never stopped teaching. My days were filled with after-school tutoring, carefully chosen extracurriculars, and endless reminders to stay on the ârightâ path. The plan was clear: excel academically, secure a respectable job, settle down early, and maintain a predictable, worry-free life.
This approach left little room for personal agency or exploration. My university major was chosen for its job prospects, not my passion. Even my social circle and romantic interests were subtly, and sometimes overtly, influenced by my parentsâ preferences. I became adept at meeting expectations, but deep down, I felt like a passenger in my own life. The safety net was comforting, but it also became a cageâone that would eventually force me to confront what it really means to live.
Yet, the more I followed the script, the more I realized how much I resented it. My parentsâ choices for meâfrom my university major to my relationshipsâfelt suffocating. The realization came when I told them that I wanted to study abroad, and they adamantly opposed, fearing financial ruin and the uncertainty of job prospect after graduating. They also worried that I would become âlost at sea,â drifting without the safety of family and tradition. But their fears only strengthened my determination. For higher pay, I went for private equity on the other side of the world, and took on side gigs to build my study abroad fund. For the first time, I was making a decision for myself, fully facing the risks and ready to accept the consequences.
In 2010, I made the leap and accepted a private equity role in West Africaâa region few of my peers would have considered. I knew the decision would met with skepticism and concern from parents, so I - only told them the news once I landed in Nouakchott, the capital city of Mauritania. The challenges were immediate and intense: adapting to a new culture, learning to navigate complex business environments, and coping with the physical and emotional toll of living far from home and Chinese food. The infrastructure was unreliable, the language barrier was real, and the sense of isolation was sometimes overwhelming.
But Africa also offered me something I had never experienced before: a sense of peace and adventure. I was no longer just following instructions; I was making real decisions with real consequences. I learned to negotiate deals, build relationships from scratch, and solve problems in unpredictable circumstances. The work was demanding, but it was also exhilarating. Most importantly, it forced me to confront my own limitations and discover strengths I never knew I had.
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Had I stayed in China, my life would have followed a familiar trajectory: a stable job, a mortgage, marriage, and children. I would have continued to wear the handcuff of expectations from family and society, gradually losing my freedom and dreams. Africa was my first true high-stakes decision, and it set the tone for everything that followed.
After two years in Africa, I had saved enough to pursue the dream that brought me to Africa: an MBA in the developed world. But I was at another crossroadsâshould I settle for the high-profile career in China, keep leveraging my experience and connections, or take another risk and start over in a new country? The easy choice would have been to stay, make more deals, and enjoy the fruits of my labor. But I knew that comfort could easily become complacency.
The decision to study in the U.S. was driven by a desire to break free from the limitations of my previous environment, both professionally and culturally. The American education system, with its emphasis on critical thinking and innovation, offered a stark contrast to the hierarchical, male-dominated industry and culture I had been in. I wanted to surround myself with people from diverse backgrounds, to learn from the best, and to challenge myself intellectually and personally.
The transition was anything but smooth. I struggled with homesickness, cultural differences, and the pressure to prove myself in a competitive environment. But every challenge was a chance to grow. I built a new network, learned advanced financial modeling and management, and discovered a passion for entrepreneurship. Most importantly, I realized that living a meaningful life is not about meeting external standards, but about pursuing your own vision with courage and conviction.
Armed with new knowledge, I entered the workforce with a new perspective on money and independence. I saw firsthand how financial security could empower people to make bold choices, and how a lack of it could trap them in unfulfilling jobs. Determined to avoid the latter, I committed to saving and investing aggressivelyâputting away 40% of my income, even when it meant living frugally.
This discipline paid off. Over the next seven years, I watched our household investments grow, especially as the stock market and real estate surged post-pandemic. The journey wasnât always smoothâthere were tenant issues, market downturns, strained personal time, and moments of doubt. But the habit of investing gave me a sense of control over my journey. I was no longer just running the ârat race,â trading time for money. I was building a foundation for true freedom.
Looking back, I realize that if I had not made the decision to prioritize saving and investing, I might still be trapped in the cycle of making ends meet, with little hope of escape. Financial freedom isnât just about wealthâitâs about having the power to choose your own path, to walk away from situations that donât serve you, and to pursue opportunities that align with your values and passions.
In 2023, I faced another high-stakes decision: whether to stay in a work-from-home job with work-life balance and a great boss, or to strike out on my own as an entrepreneur. The job was comfortable, the pay was good, and the risks of failure were significant. But deep down, I knew I was stagnating, and wanted more. The work no longer excited me, and the thought of spending years in the same routine felt like a slow suicide.
Quitting was terrifying. I gave up security for uncertainty, structure for chaos. The early days of entrepreneurship were filled with long hours, financial stress, and constant problem-solving. I had to learn new skills, build processes, and navigate a market that was always changing. But with every challenge came growth. I discovered a passion for sharing, a knack for innovation, and a resilience I never knew I possessed.
The rewards went beyond business success. I found a sense of purpose and fulfillment that had eluded me in traditional jobs. My family grew closer as we navigated the ups and downs together, and I became a role model for other career switchers, showing them that itâs possible to build a life on your own terms. Entrepreneurship reignited my ambition and reminded me that the future is full of promiseâfor those willing to take the leap.
We all face a choice between a low-stakes and a high-stakes life. My journey has taught me that real vitality comes from making decisions that push you beyond mere existence. As Oscar Wilde said, "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." If you only live to survive, you might be missing the deeper meaning of life.
My choices have always meant stepping off the beaten path and embracing uncertainty. Every leap out of my comfort zone brought me closer to the life I truly wanted. Today, I have achieved financial freedom and am working to help others find their own pathâshowing that it is possible to balance your mission and lifestyle, and to live a life that is truly your own.
So, ask yourself: How high are your stakes in life? Are you simply existing, or are you truly living?
This content is from Chapter 4 Transformation: What does it look and feel like? of my book in progress - The Power of US: Transforming Your Relationships and Money, which blends real-world stories, insightful conversations, practical knowledge, and exercises designed to help couples connect on a deeper level and get on the same page with their finances. When you communicate better about your emotions, you can make more confident and smarter money decisions together! đĄ
#LifeChoices #PersonalGrowth #FinancialFreedom #EntrepreneurJourney #LiveFully
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